"Counting sheep."

I spend quite a lot of time looking out my window. Most of the time it's either in the wee hours of the morning or at sun down.

I've been feeling rather strange recently. Things just seem to be in a mess or out of place. If this were to reflect on me as a person, I would describe myself to be rather unkempt; and no, that is not how I depict myself.

After an interestingly long and boring acrimonious debate in my zonked out mind, I have come to a conclusion. Perhaps it isn't really about me being disorderly or having less of a regard for organization or disposition. It simply has more to do with the paucity of time.

I keep telling myself that If only I had the luxury of time, things would be more in place and seem less in disarray. Although to a certain extent, I still feel that my habitual dilatoriness plays a major role in causing all the clutter.

*Reminds me, I need to take the car out and get it vacuumed.

In any case, I assume, and hope, that this phase will come to an end. It's about time I get more Gideon-time and really do the many things I want to do. Perhaps the overly used saying of how "the only constant is change" really does give me a bit of hope that things will get better.

I once told a good friend that I feel that I'm like a plane being put into a holding pattern. Going around in circles yes, but not forever. Some way or another, I'm bound to land. Hopefully it'll be a safe and soft landing. It's either that or I end up in flames.

I'm just praying hard it's not the latter.